| Andy 的个人资料正枫路上照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
正枫路上8月22日 年薪100万前一阵偶然翻出很久以前的日记, 看到一篇日记大概是1999年九月, 里面用平实的语言记录了对未来的规划, 十个阶段的目标, 不知道有没有谁跟我一样 也曾经在日记里面规划自己的未来. :)
算了一下, 现在这个时候在我的计划里面是年薪100万! 哈哈.......what a dream.
Anyway, standing in today, looking back to yesterday's history, prospecting for tomorrow's mystery, let me take a moment, just a little moment, to .......
"happy birthday to myself, to all the days in the past year, quiet, working overnight, insane, helpless, out of options, frustrated, blue, happy, exciting and getting insane again"
"make a wish"
接下来的一周, 一个月, 半年都要对自己好一点, nice一点, 大方一点, 不委屈自己以成全他人.
thank you (smile, wave hands.....)
7月3日 tonight and all nights after, sleeplessI thought it was my way back into love, I thought I eventually made the correct decision, I thought it's my pursuit of happiness. However, while approaching and getting a whole picture, it is nothing but a fantasy. This part of my life, this little part, is called painfulness.
Way Back Into Love
I have been living with a shadow overhead
I have been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I have been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can not seem to move on I have been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday I have been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind All I want to do is find a way back into love I can not make it through without a way back into love I have been watching but the stars refuse to shine I have been searching but I just do not see the signs I know that it is out there There is got to be something for my soul somewhere I have been looking for someone to shed some light Not just somebody just to get me throught the night I could use some direction And I am open to your suggestions All I want to do is find a way back into love I can not make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart again I guess I am hoping you will be there for me in the end 12月23日 谁人知二零零六年十二月二十三日十二时二十三分, 路边的行人, 倒退的车流, 有谁人知道? 又期望谁人知道? 痛苦如此刻, 思念原来这么强烈.
独唱恋歌的心谁人知
从自觉放弃了爱情开始 逝去一首首歌仿似一声声讽刺 唯独爱过痛过才能知 woo 全情投入去得到了
亦已将风花雪月忘掉 当我觉得找到未来 你却说我已失去不少 在夜阑人静以后
烛光都再没情调 是否可笑过去了的一分一秒 有你分享过的我才感到重要 对酒当歌的心谁人知
难道要我告诉我自己知 逝去一首首歌仿似一声声讽刺 难道这个世界无人知
独个归家的心谁人知 6月11日 Oracle China R&D CentreYou are never gonna imagine how much I'd been proud of this name.
The annoying cases of working around the source code issue, the HQs ST account issue, and the farm access priviledge issue have really thrown me into endless nightmare. I mean, in all likelihood, I'm not coming here for completing a technical project, instead, for experiencing the bureaucratic processes imposed upon staff from "Oracle China R&D Centre".
Undeniably, the TimesTen people here helped me a lot on shifting away these obstacles one by one and eventually we cleft the path from the ice and got on shore. However, it never follows that I can forget the one and another discrimination. Indeed, the problem has never been solved thoroughly. Even in the end I was granted the account and proper privileges, somebody reminded me " Yes, congratulations, you've got the TEMPORARY account with TEMPORARY priviledges. Please be noticed we would remove the account right after your leaving back to China. " . What the hell the man was thinking about? I mean, if a person was determined to hack the source code, need he wait until going back to China?!
And here is sth more disappointing. They acknowledge my HA ideas are good and innovative, however, they would like the clusterware group to implement it. "SRC", "SOURCE", "SOURCECODE", when I drove back to hotel, I saw everywhere there was a red circle PRINTed with various versions of "source code". They are not red traffic lights, but it insists I have to choose to either drive underneath / above / through /around these circles, if I really want to get straight the road, or remain still, in CDC.
Interesting! but never funny. 4月30日 Dance with My FatherThat was 1 year ago, I heard this song in a cd store. The elegant rhythm, the perfect voice & the absolutely romantic atmosphere moved me and I really could not walk away even by the end. It is talking about the love between a son and his father, and more touching story of the love of his parents, of an admirable family! I have to say, it allows me to see a side of me that i never managed to realize. By the music I get to think twice the things in life that I really want to pursue. Everything said in the song is more than sth to make someone feel good; it gives a course to me to overcome the difficulties in times of work & life. Each time when I got anxious, worried, troubled or depressed, I would turn on Luther Vandross to calm down, to get relaxed, and u know what, tranquility spreads from heart to soul.
Enjoy the holiday, my buddies!
<Dance with My Father>
Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then Spin me around 'til I fell asleep Then up the stairs he would carry me And I knew for sure I was loved If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end How I'd love, love, love To dance with my father again When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him He'd make me laugh just to comfort me Then finally make me do just what my mama said Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet Never dreamed that he would be gone from me If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end 'Cause I'd love, love, love To dance with my father again Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him I pray for her even more than me I pray for her even more than me I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved I know you don't do it usually But dear Lord she's dying To dance with my father again Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
3月28日 不让你离开渐渐的迷失了生活的方向，在我还来不及反应的时候，走在回家的路上，突然觉得好累好疲倦。从没想过有一天我的生活是这样，时常生活在惶恐中！是我太胆怯懦弱？还是你太强势？我宁愿相信是前者，至少我还有最后的一次借口 12月26日 被eason点名了游戏规则：被点名的人在自己blog上写答案并出一个题目，然后把题目丢给另外的几个人，并且到这些人的留言板上留下：“你被点名了。”这几个人在自己的blog注明是从哪一个blogger那里传来的题目，然后写下答案，并另写一个问题，再去贴给另外的人。如被我点名的人得回答32个题目，回答完了再加一个，被他们再点到名的博友就要回答33个题目，如此继续下去。
提问1：一天早上起来，发现自己身边的人都变成蛤蟆似的只会跳，只会呱呱叫，你怎么办？『出题人：鬼丸』
12月20日 思维方式http://www.blogthings.com/genderbrainquiz/
好像还蛮准的测试, vinnie 也觉得还蛮准的. (从mostley的blog抄过来. 共享一下)
My result: Your Brain is 33.33% Female, 66.67% Male You have a total boy brain 12月18日 失败的man2005年, 工作--学习--生活, 努力有些徒劳, 身心有些疲惫, 失败非常悲惨! 其实我早该料到有这么一天的到来, 只是没有想到, 又一次在关键的时候掉链子.
2001年, 川哥的oIcQ昵称是"失败的man", 正枫的OiCq昵称是"失败的正枫". 4年一轮回, 今天的失败和当年多少有些相似.
"习惯影响性格, 性格决定命运", 我决心去验证这两个命题在相同语义下的相关性以及他们在个体环境中的适用性. 12月13日 寂寞的季节2002年秋天，光明体育场前的马路上，秋风吹落最后一片黄叶， 那是寂寞的季节。
寂寞的季节
作词：娃娃
作曲：陶喆
风吹落最后一片叶 我的心也飘着雪 爱只能往回忆里堆叠 oh~给下个季节 忽然间树梢冒花蕊 我怎么会都没有感觉
oh~整条街都是恋爱的人 我独自走在暖风的夜 多想要向过去告别 当季节不停更迭 oh~
却还是少一点坚决 在这寂寞的季节 艳阳高照在那海边 爱情盛开的世界
远远看著热闹一切 oh~我记得那狂烈 窗外是快枯黄的叶 感伤在心中有一些 oh~
我了解那些爱过的人 心是如何慢慢在凋谢 多想要向过去告别 当季节不停更迭 oh~
却永远少一点坚决 在这寂寞的季节 又走过风吹的冷冽 最后一盏灯熄灭
从回忆我慢慢穿越 在这寂寞的季节 还是寂寞的季节 一样寂寞的季节
11月10日 24h不停游泳最近每天晚上都要到凌晨两点才睡, 不是失眠, 而是事情太多! 感觉就像一只在海里游泳的鱼, 想要游的更远, 就只有24h不停! 安静下来得时候发现自己真傻, 就算游得再快再远, 还能到天上去吗?! 算了, 不废话了, 赶紧游完这两天再好好休息吧. 但愿各位兄弟姐妹们都能enjoy everyday! 9月24日 今夜无眠明天就要回去了, 回到hotel后给一个久违的朋友打了个电话, 聊了大家的近况, 本来是担心Victoria给自己压力过大, 想安慰一下, 谁知道倒过来被安慰了, 呵呵, 说明我目前状况之糟糕.
挂上电话, 想起了在学校的一些事情, 想起这两年的所得所失, 感触很多; 人生本是剧本, 遗憾的是我们并不能决定剧情的每个细节, 以至于当你错过了美丽的夕阳, 并没有太多机会可以再看到同样的景色. //God bless everyone. Summary上午参加了TimesTen对于RAC support的review meeting, 近距离观察了他们的开发模式和流程以及QA各个环节, 有个比较, 觉得我们CDC也没有差到哪里去. 后来我简单介绍了一下我们前面做OSDL benchmark时关于10gR2里面OCI FAN 和ONS的一些问题和经验总结, 反应还可以, 基本上我们做的比较完善, 很多scenario他们并没有cover到. 发现他们有一些developer和QA远在Los Angles工作, 所有的沟通都要通过电话和email. Unbelievable! 中午lunch时, MARIE-ANNE问我是否有plan to have some fun before going back, 我的回答招致众多批评, "always busy, no playing?". 很郁闷, 意识到大概我没有平衡好工作和生活. 非常抱歉, 从某种程度上说, 破坏了CDC的形象;
不过这次经历真的是很好, 我受益匪浅. 首先当然是, 有机会在这个号称是oracle有史以来最大的open world上present demo, 认识了internal的很多人, 很荣幸的和charles philips讲了几句话, 见识了老大Larry的风采, 认识了TimesTen的这帮牛人; 其次从技术层面讲, 对timesten的concept和使用有了更深入的了解, 倾听到了客户的问题和潜在客户的各种各样的需求, 从另外一个角度来理解技术的发展和技术的应用; 再其次, 知道了timesten的发家史以及founder的故事, 是一个很不错的成功的reference. 在任何地方任何时候, 机会永远都存在, 问题永远是你有没有足够的眼界和远见去发现这些潜在的机会. 9月23日 圆满完成任务!傍晚走出办公室的时候, 抬头望处, 夕阳的余晖直射过来, 微微有点眩晕; 试着呼吸了几口新鲜空气, 真实而具体的感觉自己的存在; 九月的硅谷已经颇有寒意, 扣起衣服, 回头望望这些高低错落的巨型圆柱体, 实在找不到合适的词来形容此时的心情. 仔细想想这几天, 确认自己完成了预定目标, 没有不及格的表现. 总算可以松口气 :)
今晚可以找个BAR 好好happy 一下了! 8月5日 正枫路上开篇正枫路上很早就创建了, 一直没有时间, 今天特意选了些去年的照片上传, 也算是本blog的开端吧. 最近一段时间比较压抑, 工作上的生活上的, 唱反调的多顺利的太少. 第一次对于"公司政治" 这四个字有了非感性的认识, 也许我失去了一些, 可能我离目标更远了一点, 但庆幸的是, 我并没有因此而乱了分寸, 我还是坚持了原定路线, 即使前面是茫茫沼泽的草地, 人迹罕至的大雪山, 也必定一往无前. 中学的一位老师曾说, 如果要对史上文人骚客的性格做一个总结, 那么最具有普遍性特征的应该是忧郁. 忧郁源自于压抑, 今日此时正枫在此涂鸦, 也许正是压抑所致吧.
|
|
|||
)。
|
|
